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It has come to my attention that many people on stereonet are conducting their relationships with their components in much the same manner as if they were having an affair.

 

This epic conclusion has been triggered by this thread:

http://www.stereo.net.au/forums/index.php?/topic/49419-complete-lack-of-discipline/

 

Behaviours such as:

Hiding receipts.

Unexplained spending patterns.

Hiding your beloved pieces from your WAF's steely gaze.

Failing to 'fess up to spending your time cruising the Hi Fi stores for that something special.

Buying even more cables so you can pull that special number out and hook it up instantly when your WAF dashes out to the shops.

 

There's a delightful blog somewhere on the interwebby that covers this theme of "affairs/hi fi" with far more wit and subtlety than I do.  Because my purpose in writing is not to be humorous but to offer a solution.  Seriously.

 

Afraid of discovery?

Need an alibi?

Ashamed of all your broken promises?

Relationship almost on the rocks - "No more components" "it's me or the stereo?"

 

I am prepared to look after your Beloved Illicit Component (BIC) for you in a genuine domestic setting for months at a time. 

 

Think of the advantages!  It'll be off-site - and out of sight.  We are fully insured.  A security system operates to protect your BIC at all times, so you need not fear it falling into the hands of others and becoming "soiled goods".  Furthermore we would expect to schedule a regular program of "visits", whereby your precious jewel BIC appears in your very own household under the banner of "I'm just looking after it for a while" or "I'm keeping an eye on it while TDD is away".  [Timing and duration of said appearances can be adjusted to suit household finances, suitable removal around paydays (to alleviate suspicions), known mood swings, etc.]

 

But wait, there's more!  In addition to this instant alibi and relationship-saving service, we are also prepared to give you the next-best thing to being with your BIC all the time.  We can arrange for daily photographs to be sent to you, shots taken with the lights off or even with the lights on.  We can set up a twitter account #yourBIC or similar for you to receive messages such as "Hi.  Guess what I played today.  Guess how I responded?"  We will even go so far as to play music on your beloved BIC and we certainly would email you at least monthly about our own experiences at doing exactly this.  (Indeed we expect we would do rather a lot of this "listening to your BIC" thing.  Just so you can be reassured that your BIC is doing what it's good at).

 

We would do all this FOR NO CHARGE.  Not even storage fees. 

 

We understand that failing to charge an exorbitant rate for a product or service that, when you come down to it, provides little real benefit for the hi-fi enthusiast and a great deal of benefit to the dude who came up with this particular set of whoppers, is completely antithetical to normal audiophile industry practice.  Even so, we are still willing to have a go at this BIC catering service.  Just for you.

 

Go on.  PM me.  Send me your BICs.  Just until this current crisis blows over.  You know you want to.

 
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I'm seriously tempted TDD.

 

I'm in the doghouse after my "stash" was discovered in the garage on the weekend. I wanted to get caught, I'm sure of it. Covering the speakers with a sheet didn't fool her for a minute.

"What's that at the back of the garage covered by my new sheet?" she asked.

"New sheet?" I replied. "I thought it was an old sheet the cat sleeps on."

"Don't change the subject." She retorts. 

"It's a pair of speakers."

"Another pair? Seriously? How many do you need? What's wrong with the surround system we have, plus the 2 other pairs of 'project speakers' cluttering the lounge?"

 

I pause. Thinking. really she isn't going to appreciate my honest answer. How can I really tell her the inadequacies of the speakers we already have and about my quest to find the holy grail?

 

"Sorry dear, you're right, they'll be on eBay this evening."

 

Already thinking, while I'm posting the ad on eBay I can be looking for the AR 3a's and the large Advents......  

 

I'm a sl**.

Edited by Davros59
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 Had a Cambridge NP30 on the top of my cabinet for 2 weeks now and she hasn't noticed.... yet!

 

 

Maybe she'll give me a good sound thrashing  :mad:

Edited by MWR
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TDD

Are you offering visitation rights?

will you have multiple rooms set up?

What happens if 3 or 4 SNAers turn up at the same time To listen to their lust objects

Will you have large south sea islanders in black for security?

(necessary should an angry WAF follow her partner to your facility)

Will your WAF believe that none of this gear is yours?

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I plead ignorance to a mystery box that turned up once in the post. It just happened to be something I wanted. What a coincidence!!!

BIC storage+hifi hobby(/addiction)= relationship insurance. Maths has always been my strong point.

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I think this is a devious (but I feel will be unseccessful) attempt  TDD to trick is better half onto believing that the sudden influx of audio gear belongs to his mates...

 

...kinda along the lines of

 

"no mum/sir/officer it's not my cigarette/beer/joint, I was holding it for a friend"

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Not at all. The really dodgy end of this market is those who offer to remove and look after your wife, partner or girlfriend, and leave you with your BIC.

 

Oi!  That's my business*.  :mad:

 

*Recent photos required before contract signature.  :P

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I'm wondering if I can persuade my partner to go to said storage facility instead of my other love. That way she gets to complain about all you other men and your weak wills while I get to enjoy mine on my own.

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