bazza hallward Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 michael w;106235 wrote: An oldie but a goodie... What's the difference between a bull and an orchestra that doesn't care for its conductor ? The bull has its horns up front and its asshole at the back, the orchestra has the horns at the back and the asshole up front. I've never heard it before... but that had me laughing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bazza hallward Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 How long does it take an audiophile to change a light bulb? Forever, cause he can't see it through the double-blind fold. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnyC1553552718 Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 Music is given to us with the sole purpose of establishing an order in things, including, and particularly, the coordination between man and time. Igor Stravinsky and then My music is best understood by children and animals. Igor Stravinsky and from uncle Frank Most rock journalism is people who can't write, interviewing people who can't talk, for people who can't read. Frank Zappa Maybe the last one can be paraphrased for audio reviewers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antipodes1553552706 Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 A blonde lugs her speakers into Axent Audio. She tells the technician the sound is muffled. After he works on them for a few minutes, they are sounding great. She asks, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap on the connectors." She asks, "How often do I have to do that?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Citroen Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 Antipodes;106360 wrote: A blonde lugs her speakers into Axent Audio. She tells the technician the sound is muffled. After he works on them for a few minutes, they are sounding great. She asks, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap on the connectors." She asks, "How often do I have to do that?" You just made me choke, you bad man! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antipodes1553552706 Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 Blonde turns up to the RMAF audio show and at the entrance a blonde usher asks to see her pass. She rummages in her bag and then looks at the usher and asks "What does it look like?" The usher replies "it is small and square and has your picture on it". "Oh that" she says and hands the usher her compact mirror. The blonde usher takes one look at it and says "Oh, you can go in, I didn't realise you were an usher too." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antipodes1553552706 Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 An audiophile walks into a bar and notices his friend sitting alone staring at a tiny man on the table playing the piano. "Wow, look how small he is, where did you get him?!" Says the audiophile. "Oh, well there's this genie round the back of bar, and he grants you whatever wish you want." Sure enough, the audiophile goes round the back of the bar and there sits a genie. "You grant wishes right?" "Yes, one per customer." replies the genie. "Hmm, I'd like to have the best hifi in the world." Then, out of nowhere, a wifi modem with a 20 foot antenna appears out of nowhere, and the disappointed audiophile goes back into the bar. "Look, that genie gave me wifi instead of hifi!" His friend replies, "Well yeah, do you really think I asked for a twelve inch pianist?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T110 Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 Antipodes;106360 wrote: A blonde lugs her speakers into Axent Audio. She tells the technician the sound is muffled. After he works on them for a few minutes, they are sounding great. She asks, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap on the connectors." She asks, "How often do I have to do that?" I Like It. I Like It A Lot! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamsta Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 neil;106234 wrote: Bose! Heheheh, it had to be said! Damn it, Neil! I was gonna say that!... :mad: Or I could mention your former employer (although that might get me in all sorts of trouble...:eek:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bazza hallward Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 Antipodes;106383 wrote: "Well yeah, do you really think I asked for a twelve inch pianist?" lol, cracks me up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Owen Y Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 Antipodes, Your hidden talent is wasted fiddling around with cables, you deserve a much bigger stage than this forum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antipodes1553552706 Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 My cables are unique but my jokes are all plagiarised. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mycenius Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 chopper;106270 wrote: an oldy but a goodie Yep - always one of my favourites - I have it on DVD & Vinyl! Although, on a side note, "Not the Parrot Sketch" (the School Principal discussing exams), Constable Savage, and The Football Coach, are my 3 top favourites from Season 1 of NTNON. Pity they don't bring more out on DVD... I wonder if they ever recorded the live stage shows too for video release? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bazza hallward Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 Antipodes;106531 wrote: My cables are unique but my jokes are all plagiarised. Company motto? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antipodes1553552706 Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 good thinking Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mycenius Posted October 20, 2009 Share Posted October 20, 2009 neil;106234 wrote: Bose! - Heheheh, it had to be said! Does this count as a joke? :confused: BOSE Acoustimass - Better Profits Through Marketing (only just stumbled across it so apologies if you've seen it before...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bazza hallward Posted October 20, 2009 Share Posted October 20, 2009 BOSE - Bloody Obnoxious Sound Experience Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a poindexter Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 bazza hallward;107148 wrote: BOSE - Bloody Obnoxious Sound Experience or ... buy other stereo equipment:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Declannz Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 Esob? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 Bizzaro Bose ! If you are going to do acronyms... FUCK = French University of Canadian Kings BULLSHIT = Baylor University of Languages at Lubbuck and Sam Houston Institute of Technology And my all-time favourite piece of short prose; The World's First Audio Review. Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree (1853-1917) was asked for his opinion on a product by a gramophone company. His reply: "Sirs, I have tested your machine. It adds a new terror to life and makes death a long felt want. " Concise and to the point with not a flowery description in sight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bazza hallward Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 michael w;107157 wrote: The World's First Audio Review. Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree (1853-1917) was asked for his opinion on a product by a gramophone company. His reply: "Sirs, I have tested your machine. It adds a new terror to life and makes death a long felt want. " Must have been an early Bose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwi_1282001 Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 [attach]3492[/attach] Attached files Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mycenius Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 What's the back right one? Multipath? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwi_1282001 Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 [attach]3497[/attach] Attached files Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaka Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 That beast might play tapes, he would like that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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