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I went into a restaurant last night. The waiter came over and said "What would you like?" I said "What are the specials?" He replied "They're a reggae/ska band formed in Coventry in the late 70s, but what would you like?"

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How do you stop your violin being stolen? 

Put it in a viola case. 

 

How do you make a viola player nervous?

 

Write "solo" on his sheet music. 

 

 

My friend gave up music to play the Bass. 

 

How can you tell when a drummers sitting level? 

When he dribbles out both sides of his mouth. 

 

To put this in perspective, there are many viola players I respect,  and a good percussionist is a gift, so I mean know I'll will. 

I also want a really good acoustic bass for my collection & use, even though I'm not that good at bass. 

 

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On 25/03/2019 at 11:02 PM, mrbuzzardstubble said:

How do you improve the aerodynamics of a trombonist's car?
Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the roof.

 

How do you make a chain saw sound like a baritone sax?
Add vibrato.

 

How do you get two piccolo players to play in perfect unison?
Shoot one.

Thats not fair, they mainly work for Pizza hut! 

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  • 1 month later...

How do you get a guitarist to play softly ?

Place sheet music in front of him.

 

How do you get a guitarist to stop playing ?

Ask him to play from the sheet music

 

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  • 11 months later...


I cut my finger the other day, and my ex-nurse wife looked at it, and said "You'll probably get a scar with that". Which I replied "I'd rather get a ska with it than getting a reggae with it".

 

(true story)

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  • 2 months later...


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