Nickelle Posted March 23, 2019 Share Posted March 23, 2019 I went into a restaurant last night. The waiter came over and said "What would you like?" I said "What are the specials?" He replied "They're a reggae/ska band formed in Coventry in the late 70s, but what would you like?" 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ooogh Posted March 25, 2019 Share Posted March 25, 2019 How do you know the bands singer is at the door? He can’t find the right key and he doesn’t know when to come in. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ooogh Posted March 25, 2019 Share Posted March 25, 2019 What do you call a talentless hobo who hangs around annoying the band? The drummer. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LogicprObe Posted March 25, 2019 Share Posted March 25, 2019 What do you call a bass player without a girlfriend? Spoiler Homeless! 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaynin Posted March 25, 2019 Share Posted March 25, 2019 What's the last thing a drummer says to the band before they fire him? "Guy's, have a listen to this song I've written". 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrbuzzardstubble Posted March 25, 2019 Share Posted March 25, 2019 How do you improve the aerodynamics of a trombonist's car? Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the roof. How do you make a chain saw sound like a baritone sax? Add vibrato. How do you get two piccolo players to play in perfect unison? Shoot one. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magical Posted March 25, 2019 Share Posted March 25, 2019 How do you stop your violin being stolen? Put it in a viola case. How do you make a viola player nervous? Write "solo" on his sheet music. My friend gave up music to play the Bass. How can you tell when a drummers sitting level? When he dribbles out both sides of his mouth. To put this in perspective, there are many viola players I respect, and a good percussionist is a gift, so I mean know I'll will. I also want a really good acoustic bass for my collection & use, even though I'm not that good at bass. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bzr Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 (edited) Edited March 26, 2019 by groot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surprisetech Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 On my way to a gig with my Banjo on the back seat of the car, I stopped at the shopping centre to get a couple of drinks. When I got back to the car the back window was broken and there were 3 Banjos on the seat. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
betocool Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ancientflatulence Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 What is the difference between a drum machine and a drummer? You only have to punch the information into a drum machine once to get it to play what you want. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magical Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 On 25/03/2019 at 11:02 PM, mrbuzzardstubble said: How do you improve the aerodynamics of a trombonist's car? Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the roof. How do you make a chain saw sound like a baritone sax? Add vibrato. How do you get two piccolo players to play in perfect unison? Shoot one. Thats not fair, they mainly work for Pizza hut! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ralph Posted May 26, 2019 Share Posted May 26, 2019 How do you get a guitarist to play softly ? Place sheet music in front of him. How do you get a guitarist to stop playing ? Ask him to play from the sheet music 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andyr Posted May 26, 2019 Share Posted May 26, 2019 What's the difference between an onion ... and a viola? No-one cries when you cut up a viola! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrbuzzardstubble Posted May 27, 2019 Share Posted May 27, 2019 Knock knock, who's there? Philip Glass. Knock knock, who's there? Philip Glass. Knock knock, who's there? Philip Glass. 6 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Volunteer sir sanders zingmore Posted May 2, 2020 Volunteer Share Posted May 2, 2020 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stereo coffee Posted May 2, 2020 Share Posted May 2, 2020 On 26/03/2019 at 12:48 AM, Kaynin said: What's the last thing a drummer says to the band before they fire him? "Guy's, have a listen to this song I've written". https://www.ecmrecords.com/artists/1435045712/paul-motian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaynin Posted May 2, 2020 Share Posted May 2, 2020 5 hours ago, stereo coffee said: https://www.ecmrecords.com/artists/1435045712/paul-motian 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Volunteer sir sanders zingmore Posted May 2, 2020 Volunteer Share Posted May 2, 2020 5 minutes ago, Kaynin said: now that is funny 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emesbee Posted May 2, 2020 Share Posted May 2, 2020 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emesbee Posted May 2, 2020 Share Posted May 2, 2020 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
audiofeline Posted May 8, 2020 Share Posted May 8, 2020 I cut my finger the other day, and my ex-nurse wife looked at it, and said "You'll probably get a scar with that". Which I replied "I'd rather get a ska with it than getting a reggae with it". (true story) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mutatis Mutandis Posted August 8, 2020 Share Posted August 8, 2020 A: So why did you get back into vinyl? B: You know, I really can't decide if it was the inconvenience or the expense. [Says me after putting back the TT into my set-up] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metal beat Posted August 9, 2020 Share Posted August 9, 2020 hmmm. heard that one before 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colin Rutter Posted August 9, 2020 Share Posted August 9, 2020 "Vionins and violas are the same size. Its the size of the players heads that make them look different." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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