Nevyn72 Posted March 9, 2007 Posted March 9, 2007 Open forum. Tell the Dear John Jones show what's on your mind.......
mello yello Posted March 9, 2007 Posted March 9, 2007 Hello Id like to just say I listen to your show all the time Ray ....keep up the good work Id like to talk about P Platers Ray I think they should all have to drive with their hazard lights on. Yep the lot of them..all day and night I reckon that would slow them down..nothing like making them feel like a right royal goose to get em to slow down is there Ray? We were stuck in the fog coming along the F6 one foggy day. We were on our way to cheer the Dragons at WIN, been following the Dragons for 52 years Ray and we never miss your call mate....anyway it was so thick you could have cut it with a knife that day. Anyway we all had to drive with our hazard lights blinking away blinking away..well I forgot I still had them on as we parked at WIN Stadium Ray, Well let me tell you Ray...I felt like a right royal goose that day..why I even turned down my radio as soon as I realised what everyone was looking at. Ill tell you....it will slow them down alright...bloody well slowed me down
Nevyn72 Posted March 9, 2007 Author Posted March 9, 2007 Hello Id like to just say I listen to your show all the time Ray ....keep up the good work Id like to talk about P Platers Ray I think they should all have to drive with their hazard lights on. Yep the lot of them..all day and night I reckon that would slow them down..nothing like making them feel like a right royal goose to get em to slow down is there Ray? We were stuck in the fog coming along the F6 one foggy day. We were on our way to cheer the Dragons at WIN, been following the Dragons for 52 years Ray and we never miss your call mate....anyway it was so thick you could have cut it with a knife that day. Anyway we all had to drive with our hazard lights blinking away blinking away..well I forgot I still had them on as we parked at WIN Stadium Ray, Well let me tell you Ray...I felt like a right royal goose that day..why I even turned down my radio as soon as I realised what everyone was looking at. Ill tell you....it will slow them down alright...bloody well slowed me down Well now Goose, I can call you that can't I? Oh that's right you said I could didn't you! Now Goose, P-Platers already have a device installed in their vehicles to help with locating them in poor visibility conditions. As seems to be compulsory in today's rice cars, a sub-sonic vibratory alert system is installed so that other road users are able to feel the approach of said P-platers and hence take appropriate action. Whether this be pulling over to the side of the road or locking up your teanager daughters and finding a cork for the dog may depend on what area you hail from. To insist that these 'drivers' be forced to use their hazard lights could cause some confusion for the Police tactical response and dog sniffing branches and you may find good citizens such as youself, innocently travelling to your chosen sporting venue, copping a wet nose where it is least appreciated! Do we have any other listeners out there who have had experineces with our less experienced road users or for that matter Terrorists, politicians or any combinations of the above? I'm listening.....
Austen Posted March 10, 2007 Posted March 10, 2007 Hello peter, long time listener, first time caller.... I'd like to complain about these so-called motor-shows. I took my son to one in Melbourne today, and let me tell you, a lot of the automobile manufacturers have attractive girls in skimpy clothing on their display stands. Buttons undone down to their navels, slits in their skirts up to their hips, size 12 chests in size 8 blouses...... Peter, these girls know nothing about the cars, all the do is smile and hand out glossy brochures. It's just not right peter, some of the stands have handsome young men doing the same job, and they look all professional, neatly dressed up in very smart suits and ties. Especially the Holden stand peter.....At the Holden stand you can always find a real engineer to talk to, one who actually knows how the cars are built and designed and why things are made the way they are. Peter, I have to ask you, why don't all the stands have the sexy girls ??? Who goes to these shows to look at guys in suits ??? Austen.
Nevyn72 Posted March 10, 2007 Author Posted March 10, 2007 Well now Austen the answer to your question lies in the changing modern demographic. The Melbourne Motor Show you said? Well that's part of your answer! Not all potential clients are likely to swayed by one of the finer sales representative of the female persuasion, but have tastes that lean in other directions...... Given that you encountered this phenomenon in Melbourne and on the Holden stand you can probably see the connection. What concerns me most here Austen is that you appear to have been deeply troubled by this! All available research to date shows that the abundance of the more tradtional information attendants at these venues cause all normal visitors to be so sensorarilly overwhelmed that these newer versions pass totally unnoticed. Only those with certain predispositions are capable of recognising them. I am deeply concerned for your and your 'son'. Given that, not only, both of you managed to notice these stand attendants, but were so affected that you felt the need to broadcast this to the world on a public medium! Plus that you hail from Adelaide, a city renowned for it's err, motoring representaives... I recommend you both check in immediately to the 'Mello Katie Personality Rectification & Rehabilitation Clinic' for some intensive treatment to expunge such budding tendencies and restore you both to normality. Oh, and in future, stay away from the Holden Stand and head over to the Ford stand where you will find the real men surrounded by properly qualified sales representatives! Who's our next caller? I'm listening......
Skid_MacMarx Posted March 10, 2007 Posted March 10, 2007 hey Pete you keep mentioning Optus throughout your program so I thought I'd take up one of their deals .. but I'm having no end of trouble with......hello? ...hello? ... pete, are you there? ...we've been cut off...
Steve C Posted March 11, 2007 Posted March 11, 2007 Hello, hello... I'm a confused caller... and I don't mean two Greek guys called Con who melded into a singularity and is now on the telephone line! I'm finding it difficult to determine whether you are John, Ray or Peter. If you are in fact all three, then you are more of a fused Con than the two Greek guys I mentioned earlier... Should you be giving advice to troubled individuals? I know you (and maybe the other two) are thinking I'm just a pesky caller deserving of being cut-off mid call, but I just want to know who is really the one behind this show? It's a matter of common courte... beep, beep, beep, beep
Nevyn72 Posted March 11, 2007 Author Posted March 11, 2007 It's a matter of common courte... beep, beep, beep, beep Ahh, another of our satisfied Optus customers! As I always say, Choose Optus, they are good at helping me out of a difficult situation. Who's next? mmurphllee murph mmmm em err Yes John what can I do for you? hurmmh hurch ack!! What's that John? You're being stalked by a muppet!?
mello yello Posted March 11, 2007 Posted March 11, 2007 Hello <kkrrkck> ... theres a radar on the Hume Hwy just south of Goulburn <kkkrrrrrck> southbound.
Foggy Posted March 11, 2007 Posted March 11, 2007 Hello Alan, I just had a family from one of those awful Middle Eastern countries move in next door to me. Mate, what's our immigration department doing... sleeping! How on earth do these people manage to get in to our beautiful country. The smell of garlic, eggplant, and fresh tomatoes day and night.... I can't stand it. The wife, all she does is stay at home and cook, and the kids play bloody soccer in the backyard instead of cricket. How can this happen in our country?.... where did we go wrong Alan?
Nevyn72 Posted March 11, 2007 Author Posted March 11, 2007 Hello <kkrrkck> ... theres a radar on the Hume Hwy just south of Goulburn <kkkrrrrrck> southbound. Err, sorry there Mr Fog we appear to be getting some interference on the line from some goose on the Hume Highway....... If he was using a sevice provided by the good people at Optus we wouldn't be having this problem! The smell of garlic, eggplant, and fresh tomatoes day and night.... Hmmm, that reminds me, I'm hungry. And if you're hungry like me just drop down Jihad Tabouli's for one of their fine Kahbul Kebabs with their special 'poppy sauce' for that extra zing, it's worth the trip. Now for today's competition! There are three deliberate double meanings in this text, find all three and phone in your response to 1902 747 663 to win a great prize!
mello yello Posted March 11, 2007 Posted March 11, 2007 <kkrrckkk> Hello Ray its me again <krrcckk krrckk> I just got booked for talking on the mobile <krrckkk> The three double meanings competition? I reckon the three words are.... "poppy""zing" and...<kkrccckk> ...........
Nevyn72 Posted March 11, 2007 Author Posted March 11, 2007 <kkrrckkk> Hello Ray its me again <krrcckk krrckk> I just got booked for talking on the mobile <krrckkk> The three double meanings competition? I reckon the three words are.... "poppy""zing" and...<kkrccckk> ........... Thanks for that Goose! However you were wrong on all three counts, feel free to call back and enter as many times as you like! As for your unfortunate fine, your local Optus dealer will gladly furnish you with a hands free kit so you will never have this problem again! While you're there, enquire about their great upgrade plans for the new 3G service or consider a superior home package including phone, internet and TV! Who's next?
mello yello Posted March 11, 2007 Posted March 11, 2007 <clink> <clink> <clink> ...Listen Ray I dont have much time.....coins are running out <clink> <clink> Who you calling a <krrrckkk> goose , you <kkrrcckk>ing <krrckk> <clink> I said I was a goose and you could quote me that I said that ....I didnt say you could call me a <krrrckkk> goose you <krrrckkkkk>ing <krrrckkk> Hey you can stick your Optus right up your <krrrckk> you <krrrckkk>ing <krrrckkkk>hole , you <krrckkk> <krrccckk> <clink> <clink> Can I send a cherrio?
Nevyn72 Posted March 11, 2007 Author Posted March 11, 2007 Who you calling a <krrrckkk> goose , you <kkrrcckk>ing <krrckk> <clink> I said I was a goose and you could quote me that I said that ....I didnt say you could call me a <krrrckkk> goose you <krrrckkkkk>ing <krrrckkk> Well caller, since you seem to be adopting this epithet, well.... I just assumed you wanted me to use it! ...I felt like a right royal goose that day.. Do you need some more change? Of course if it was an Optus payphone you could charge the call to your home account! Can I send a cherrio? Certainly! Who wants to hear from you?
ibanez5 Posted March 11, 2007 Posted March 11, 2007 <krrrckkk> I<krck> wou<krrckk> li<krrckk> t<krck> complai<krrckk> about the qual<krrckk> of optu<krck> serv<krrrckkk> ........beep beep beep
Nevyn72 Posted March 11, 2007 Author Posted March 11, 2007 <krrrckkk> I<krck> wou<krrckk> li<krrckk> t<krck> complai<krrckk> about the qual<krrckk> of optu<krck> serv<krrrckkk> ........beep beep beep I'm sorry caller, I can't understand what you are saying.... If you would like to call back using the new Dodo VOIP I would love to answer any of your queries! That's right, don't be a goose! Just join up to Dodo for superior voice and internet services! Who's next?
ibanez5 Posted March 11, 2007 Posted March 11, 2007 I'm sorry caller, I can't understand what you are saying....If you would like to call back using the new Dodo VOIP I would love to answer any of your queries! That's right, don't be a goose! Just join up to Dodo for superior voice and internet services! Who's next? I'm a Dodo now instead of a goose. Have to go. Dodo count uploads.
stahc Posted March 11, 2007 Posted March 11, 2007 hello, long time first time......................feels like i've been up all night and can't sleep..............what do you think is wrong with me................can it be fixed
Austen Posted March 11, 2007 Posted March 11, 2007 hello,long time first time......................feels like i've been up all night and can't sleep..............what do you think is wrong with me................can it be fixed Your problem is that we're you're a shiftworker, and No, It can't be fixed. Austen.
Nevyn72 Posted March 11, 2007 Author Posted March 11, 2007 hello,long time first time......................can it be fixed Usually the first time doesn't take long at all.... Why would you want to fix this?
Mining Man Posted March 12, 2007 Posted March 12, 2007 I'm back and talking. Didn't realise there was a thread dedicated to these kinds of announcements though. Sorry...
mello yello Posted March 12, 2007 Posted March 12, 2007 Certainly!Who wants to hear from you? Hello Ray..me again.. Id like to send a cherrio to Mining Man and all the boys Listen Ray I dont have much time....the Desk Sargeant said I could make one phone call so Im calling you Ray I got picked up by the fuzz for yelling obsenities in a public place and on a public phone..so I just want to just say sorry about that Ray Listen Ray....you gotta help me......can you call my lawyer and tell him Im in the klink? Listen his name is......<click> .......beep beep beep He hung up on me!!!!! You havent heard the last fom me you baasssstttttttaaaaarrrrdddd!!!!!!!!!
ibanez5 Posted March 12, 2007 Posted March 12, 2007 Can I send a cheerio out to all the the listeners in Smolensk?
Nevyn72 Posted March 12, 2007 Author Posted March 12, 2007 Listen Ray....you gotta help me......can you call my lawyer and tell him Im in the klink?Listen his name is......<click> .......beep beep beep ........you baasssstttttttaaaaarrrrdddd!!!!!!!!! Sorry I can't seem to find any lawyer or associate under that name..... When you get out on the work release program, give us a call and I'll see if we can help! Can I send a cheerio out to all the the listeners in Smolensk? Here you go! Hi там, вне к всем операторам на приеме в smolensk!
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